Right now I'm listening to the painful "Geese of Beverly Road". For the past two hours I've just been listening to The National. I woke up with a rather somber, strange feeling and somehow that transferred into the need for The National. Everyone gets a little lost sometimes, I think some people are forever lost and it's hard to know where to put that mess. Simple is rarely simple. The National is not simple.
The other day I watched a great interview with Matt Berninger where he said that a lot of his songs have dark humor within them that people don't get. They think songs like "Conversation 16" in which he discusses putting his head in an oven ala Sylvia Plath are real. The interviewer went as far as asking him if that song was based in reality. Berninger obviously denied it and said it's meant to be silly. He's not afraid of eating anyone's brains and he's never tried to commit suicide. I'm not sure I completely buy that answer - maybe not to that extent but he's writing based in his own feelings for sure. I'd put a lot of money on it. He writes about the same recurring feelings and themes consistently.
Lately I'm starting to get a little lesson in things masquerading as something else and realizing that everything that seems like it means something might not but I'm damn sure that The National mean something. I have it tattooed on my body that it means something. More importantly, I feel it. I have seen Matt Berninger destroyed on stage while singing lyrics that obviously mean something to him. My best friend and I have joked about being jealous of his wife - then concluded that he must be a handful to deal with on a daily basis. Yeah, but imagine how incredible it would be to know someone who is so truly intense.
I don't want to sound like a 15-year-old talking about Justin Timberlake and how "Like I Love You" shatters her world but I do like the idea of having an external sound evoke so much internally. If I were a scientist I'd do some research on my brain and find out why I go back to The National every time I need something to surround me, almost like gluing everything together. Whether we love work or school or our friends, there are always those days when we want to get away from everything. We need a break from life. Sometimes I'd prefer to live out a day as someone else, not because I want to be someone else but because I'm exhausted. I'm older now so things are a little different, when I want a break I know how to shut off my mind and not care about anything. It's a little heartless but it's also necessary in order to not break your own heart. The National helps me with this. I think about Berninger's lyrics and genuinely believe that there's another ridiculously, stupid intense person in this world that doesn't know what to do too.
That's why I think I should just leave everyone I know, drop out of school, quit my job and travel with The National as a roadie - I don't know how to tune a guitar but I know how to duct tape a setlist to the floor and roll out a carpet. I know how to put a few Poland Spring waters on the ground and ice a nice bottle of wine. I could buy towels or carry microphones or really anything. I'll work for free - just a place to sleep and some food. I don't need any more material possessions, I don't need anybody else in my life, I just want the music. I just want to stand on the side of the stage every night and listen. If life is about finding something you love and surrounding yourself with it then this is what I should be doing. I'd miss my cat but it wouldn't be the entire year, just a few months.
I'm crazy. I'm crazy because I'm serious. I seriously would just drop everything if ever this was a possibility. I'm considering going online right now and searching for how one acquires jobs like this. I am just tired. I'm tired of seeing people give up and give in. I'm afraid it will happen to me too. When I say out loud that I see myself being successful, I'm starting to hear myself sounding like a child. Don't I know no one is successful anymore? How did I hang on to these childish, whimsical dreams for so long? I'm the only one left.
I believe it even more when I hear Matt Berninger sing.
"I'll do what I can to be a confident wreck." - M.B.
The Geese of Beverly Road Lyrics
We'll take ourselves out in the street
And wear the blood in our cheeks
Like red roses
We'll go from car to sleeping car
And whisper in their sleeping ears
We were here, we were here
We'll set off the geese of Beverly Road
Hey, love, we'll get away with it
We'll run like we're awesome, totally genius
Hey, love, we'll get away with it
We'll run like we're awesome
We won't be disappointed
We'll fight like girls for our place at the table
Our room on the floor
We'll set off the geese of Beverly Road
Hey, love, we'll get away with it
We'll run like we're awesome, totally genius
Hey, love, we'll get away with it
We'll run like we're awesome
We're the heirs to the glimmering world
We're drunk and sparking, our legs are open
Our hands are covered in cake
But I swear we didn't have any
I swear we didn't have any
Hey, love, we'll get away with it
We'll run like we're awesome, totally genius
Hey, love, we'll get away with it
We'll run like we're awesome
We're the heirs to the glimmering world
Oh, come, come be my waitress and serve me tonight
Serve me the sky tonight
Oh, come, come be my waitress and serve me tonightserve me the sky with a big slice of lemon
We're the heirs to the glimmering world
Oh, come, come be my waitress and serve me tonight
Serve me the sky tonightOh, come, come be my waitress and serve me tonight
serve me the sky with a big slice of lemon
1 comment:
how come this will be the first comment? " If I were a scientist I'd do some research on my brain and find out why I go back to The National every time I need something to surround me, almost like gluing everything together." god, i loved your article. The National are really something special... and i can't understand it either...i would be a roadie for National too :) HAVE A GREAT CONCERT!!
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