19 August 2009

A Rush of Blood to the Head

I haven't written a general entry in awhile and I have so much flowing through my mind right now that I just want to feel my fingers typing thoughts.

I'm at work and should really be doing mindless reports but I'm thinking of Queen Latifah's version of "Hello Stranger" (future post about that to come), great writing (thanks to a 600 word short story), and my fear of a brain tumor (courtesy of the top of my head feeling like it's dripping blood and aching so badly).

I am absolutely in love with writing. I want to write every second.

I feel incredibly stagnant and that's when my head starts to hurt the most. If I sit still for longer than a half hour I start to get this weird tingling sensation at the top and it filters down until it reaches my heart and I feel palpitations. It might be a disease or it might be my immense, immense, IMMENSE desire to do something more than I am now. I have so much crazy passion and energy inside me that I don't know what to do with. I sometimes feel like I could do a thousand things at once with all the built up excitement underneath my exterior.

This could be why I am addicted to concerts: they completely involve every aspect of my being at the same time. They allow me to concentrate on something I'm genuinely interested in, move my body to the music, think about the lyrics, analyze the performance, and take in the crowd through all my senses. They excite me in the way a new love makes someone feel or a winning lottery ticket. I feel emotions in a major way and they allow me to put that emotion towards something productive, positive, and exhilarating. I am shaking right now just thinking about it (or maybe that's another tumor symptom).

I want a drink.

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