19 August 2008

She & Him - July 27, 2008





Last night at the She & Him concert I learned that music sounds a lot better if you're dating the person you're on stage with and if you've been playing 1960's girl group music to get the audience jazzed up - with a little "Gypsy" from Fleetwood Mac mixed in (which I took as them being ironic).

Zooey Deschanel is gorgeous and these pictures don't do her justice - but the truly gorgeous thing was the way she looked at M. Ward throughout the night. During their cover of "You Really Got a Hold on Me", it was just the two of them with separate microphones from across the stage and every time there was a pretty lyric she would turn her entire body to look directly at him and he would grin. It was adorable to put it mildly. Or to put it bluntly, it looked like they were going to rip each other's clothes off every second. It was pretty steamy - very cool! The crowd was going wild with all that love.


M. Ward's voice is awesome but he didn't do any singing until the encore so he was mostly just another part of the band (except for some surprisingly good guitar solos). The crowd was primarily full of hipster girls that would "woo" anytime he put his lips to the microphone and "aww" anytime Zooey did anything remotely cute (which was almost always). They were definitely interactive. She kept saying she was overwhelmed with how many people showed up and how happy it made her. It was nice to see how happy M. Ward and Zooey seem together when separately they come across as slightly depressed.

They sang every song off their album, "Volume One", a Joni Mitchell cover, and Ward's "Magic Trick" as an encore (switching the lyrics to "I" instead of "she" for some reason). Overall, the entire set list was enjoyable and the experience was well worth it. Although I'll never understand why such talented, inspired musicians continuously choose ridiculous opening acts. The Rosebuds, a band based out of North Carolina, played what sounded like the same song for 40 minutes. Please don't ever listen to them.


One more thing: M. Ward and Zooey are definitely pretty to look at but their backing band was so cool! There was a very pregnant girl on the bass, a much older man with white hair on guitar, and an extremely handsome drummer wearing a white button down shirt, black vest, and a tie. He looked like a thinner version of Clive Owen but with a receding hairline. It felt like one big, happy, eccentric family.








Listen to the Music

I'm so tired of listening to a song by a band and thinking I'll like more songs by them - only to find out that they merely have ONE good song. With my extra thinking time in front of the computer and since I technically should be doing something in relation to music if I'm sitting here, I've conjured up a tiny list of albums that are so good, you can listen to every song and not be disappointed. They're hook-y but with heart.

NEWER (2006 - 2008):
THE SHINS - WINCING THE NIGHT AWAY
BECK - MODERN GUILT
THE NATIONAL - BOXER
JOHN LEGEND - ONCE AGAIN
SONDRE LERCHE - PHANTOM PUNCH
ROBERT PLANT/ALISON KRAUSS - RAISING SAND
SHE & HIM - VOLUME ONE
JOHN MAYER - CONTINUUM
MUDCRUTCH - MUDCRUTCH
FLEET FOXES - FLEET FOXES
AMY WINEHOUSE - BACK TO BLACK

HONORABLE MENTION: COLDPLAY - VIVA LA VIDA

OLDER :
TOM PETTY - WILDFLOWERS
JOHN MAYER - ROOM FOR SQUARES
THE BEATLES - REVOLVER
LED ZEPPELIN - HOUSES OF THE HOLY
MARVIN GAYE - WHAT'S GOING ON
TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS - DAMN THE TORPEDOES
GEORGE HARRISON - CLOUD NINE
FLEETWOOD MAC - RUMORS
KEB' MO' - KEB' MO'
BUFFALO SPRINGFIELD - BUFFALO SPRINGFIELD AGAIN
MARY J. BLIGE - THE BREAKTHROUGH

HONORABLE MENTION: RAY LAMONTAGNE - TROUBLE

COLLECTIONS:
TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS - GREATEST HITS
BOBBY DARIN - THE LEGENDARY BOBBY DARIN
FRANK SINATRA - SINATRA REPRISE: THE VERY GOOD YEARS
JACKSON BROWNE - THE NEXT VOICE YOU HEAR: THE BEST OF JACKSON BROWNE
EDDY ARNOLD - THE BEST OF EDDY ARNOLD
JOHNNY CASH - THE LEGEND OF JOHNNY CASH
RAY CHARLES - MUSIC FROM THE MOTION PICTURE RAY
CHICAGO - THE VERY BEST OF CHICAGO: ONLY THE BEGINNING
ERIC CLAPTON - COMPLETE CLAPTON
BILLIE HOLIDAY - BILLIE'S BEST
CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL - CHRONICLE, VOL. 1: THE 20 GREATEST HITS

HONORABLE MENTION: CHET BAKER - THE BEST OF CHET BAKER SINGS

An Ode to Wildflowers


There are very few albums that can be described as "energetic, melancholy, earnest, organic, humorous, literate, rowdy, wry, amiable, and fun". There are also few musicians who at 44 could create one of the best albums of all time - not to mention their best work out of a 23 year career (at that point). Of course if anyone could accomplish all that it would be Tom Petty and his amazing, amazing musical piece, Wildflowers. This is one of those albums that you hear for the first time and become obsessed with only to overplay it and leave it on top of your cd player for the next three months while getting acquainted with some other, less worthy cd. When you finally come back to it, it sounds fresher than ever and you can't understand why you waited so long to hear that intro again.

I put this album in my cd player this morning, sat on my exercise bike (that I didn't exercise on), and almost wept listening to Tom Petty sing lines like, "You belong among the wildflowers, you belong somewhere close to me, far away from your troubles and worries, you belong somewhere you feel free". To get by in this life you need to listen to songs like this daily. Whether they make you cry, feel 'rowdy', get literate, or make an organic swiss cheese sandwich, these songs are life affirming - like a good pinch on your arm to make sure you're still breathing. These songs bring out emotions to make sure you're still feeling. It's funny how all our senses are connected: Listening to this album makes me want to put on a brown, fuzzy sweater and look at autumn colored leaves. I suddenly want freshly sharpened pencils and tweed shoes. I don't know why Wildflowers reminds me of fall (it did come out in November '94) but I can only dream of taking a long road trip by myself with aviator sunglasses on and my hand out the window, blasting "You Don't Know How It Feels" and singing along with my favorite lines. In the back of my mind I think I wish I was Tom Petty.


There's a bonus dvd with The Last DJ, another Heartbreakers fall release, that personifies the mixture of Tom Petty and autumn even more for me: The entire Heartbreakers band is in a mahogany recording studio with crisp white speakers and microphones all over. They are dressed in long sleeves and cowboy boots and seem so chipper. Tom Petty, with his pearly white veneers, and Mike Campbell with his sewn in cornrows, look at peace. It's the kind of feeling you get in the fall. Blankets and darkness envelope you and it's simply cozy. That's how Tom Petty's voice makes me feel. Cozy. That's why he could sing about a gator on the lawn (which he's done) and it would sound super awesome. But back to Wildflowers. You can't deny the genius of putting "Time to Move On" back to back with "You Wreck Me" then later transitioning from "Honey Bee" to "Don't Fade On Me". If you've never heard this record, you probably won't understand why that's brilliant but it's like human nature. To me it sounds like a person in a constant struggle with their feelings. First they're sentimental, then ready to start a brand new future, then suddenly wrecked again, then find new happiness, only to be busted up again later on.


Instead of using giant metaphors to get his point across, Petty tells us how it is.


"You spend your life dreaming, running around in a trance
You hang out forever and still miss the dance
And if you get lucky, you might find someone
To help you get over the pain that will come
Yeah, you were so cool back in high school, what happened
You were sure not to have your spirits dampened
But youre just a poor boy alone in this world
Youre just a poor boy alone in this world"


Not only are the lyrics relatable and profound but somehow Petty and Rick Rubin, the producer, completely understood how powerful the song was and allowed just Petty's voice to be heard throughout most of the song. It's almost like he's whispering a secret to the listener. Compare that to a song like the super upbeat "Honey Bee" with blazing guitar licks and it almost seems like they wouldn't even be on the same record. Which leads to another important point about this album: It doesn't matter what mood you're in, you can find a song to fit it. And the fact that the songs go back and forth so much between upbeat and downtempo is an added bonus. You could be on the verge of depression and come back up within four minutes. I know Tom Petty is typically a happy guy but in '94, just two years before divorcing his wife of two decades, some deep stuff must've been boiling while writing this album.


Someone once said to me, "How horrible would it have been if Kevin Spacey had never tried to be an actor?". They asked me this in hope that it would get me motivated to do something gigantic with my own life but as I think about it, there are some people with such sensational gifts that it would literally be selfish if they didn't share them with the world. Tom Petty is one and of course, Kevin Spacey is another. I'm not sure if we all have that but I do know for a fact that if I could write about my feelings and worries like Petty can then I would certainly share that with everyone. Thankfully, there are some amazing nuggets out there, like Wildflowers for me, that express everything I could ever hope to - and do it in a more eloquent way than I could ever dream of. Wildflowers is 62 minutes of pure bliss. I'm sure with all these immense compliments I'm spewing on a silly album I sound like James Lipton interviewing Jennifer Lopez but believe me when I say, it deserves every word.


Favorite Tracks: Honey Bee, You Wreck Me, To Find a Friend, Time to Move On.


Honorable Mentions: Wildflowers, You Don't Know How It Feels, Don't Fade on Me, Wake Up Time.


Although every song is better than almost all other songs on other albums.

Mock Celebrity Playlist


Bear with me. I was looking through iTunes celebrity playlists and got extremely jealous that I wasn't a celebrity - 100% because I want to make one of those lists and have people actually read it. I love those lists! Not only do the celebrities get to pick up to 25 songs, they also get to explain why they chose each song and the viewers get instant access to purchasing either the entire playlist or an individual song. Hearing why Rosario Dawson picked a particular version of "Fever" or why Bob Saget chose John Mayer and Tom Petty in a row (!!) is pretty awesome. Hearing why Angelica Diamond chose Sondre Lerche is not so interesting. But hey, we all need something to distract from the fact that Russia is probably going to bomb us so why not a juicy playlist :-)

So pretend I'm a celebrity and enjoy...

Angelica Diamond's Playlist

Apartment Story - The National: I hear this song is about a house party but with lines like "Tired and wired we ruin too easy, sleep in our clothes and wait for winter to leave.. Hold ourselves together with our arms around the stereo for hours..", it sounds more like my life. I've had this song for maybe two months and it's already on my Top 25 Most Played list on iTunes. Also check out: "Guest Room" that has my favorite line, "They're gonna send us to prison for jerks." Matt Berninger's voice could not be anymore beautiful.

Sleep Tonight - Ari Hest: It's always one or two lines in a song that grab me. This has THE BEST line I've heard in a song. I had a friend ask me one of the best questions yesterday which was, "What is the saddest song you've ever heard?" - and I mentioned this one. I heard this live at my place of business, Starland Ballroom, for the first time when Ari was there and it brought the house down. Just him and his guitar and boy, he has a set of pipes. He is the most underrated artist (other than this next guy..)

Sooner Surrender - Matt Nathanson: Another depressing song by another amazing talent. If I had a record label, I would offer him millions and have nightly private concerts in my living room. Although I picture him being more comfortable fully clothed in a bathtub by himself with a guitar singing about lost loves. At my funeral I definitely want this played - or wedding.

Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress - The Hollies: I don't know what they're saying and actually for a long time I thought he was saying "Long, cool woman in a flatbed" so I'm clueless but how sexy is this song? It sounds exactly like a place I want to visit. I want to be a long, cool woman in a black dress but I'm not that tall and I'm more nerdy than cool. I do have a "tall, walking, big, black cat" though and they mention that too.

Anything, Anything - Dramarama: This is not my kind of music but this song is sad. It sounds upbeat but he's pleading with this girl to stay, bribbing her with money, pills, candy - everything. Then! He's sick of her. He's in love! I feel like pulling my hair out when I hear this and then there's this line: "When I was young I learned a game where love and happiness were the same, now I'm older and I don't play. I found out the hardest way." Dramarama indeed.

Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley: It's only two minutes! It needs ten more minutes. It's a mini movie: The desk clerk is dressed in black, they're about to commit suicide, they have "tales to tell". Really the best part is the beginning though. It's like rich, dark chocolate.

Bossy - Lindsay Lohan: Okay, I have a few great reasons for this: 1. I'm a 22 year old girl! This is the one young girl song I listen to. 2. It was on Dina Lohan's celebrity playlist and she's like a messiah, right? 3. In the middle of this song it becomes like, ethnic or something. It get atmospheric. But then! It's a dance song! 4. If Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian now, listen, I'll kiss her.

Strong Enough - Cher: I don't know what's going on. I'm getting angry I started this stupid playlist thing because now I have Elvis, Lindsay Lohan, and Cher in a row! I'm lite radio! And I'm really not. But hey, listen to these lyrics. I can't even choose one, it's all of them. You know how people work out to get strong physically? Well I listen to this to get strong mentally. Also, my mom looks like Cher, Cher's beautiful, and her voice is delicious. One of my all time favorites is "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves".

Electric Feel - MGMT: This is a new one. When this guy starts singing, I'm ready to find a dirty, shaggy guy in a dark bar and dance dangerously with him. It's one of the hottest songs I've ever heard.

Morning After - Howie Day: This is a song I used to listen to when I was maybe, 14 or 15. He screams in it and I would scream along and I thought it was my private song. "What could be so wonderful about this?" - a line Howie sings after he's just described how a girl looks in the fresh morning light after he's spent the night with her and her summer dress is on the floor. Why express concern when you're having a good day? There's a lot more underneath... See also: "She Says". Heavy stuff.

I Decided - Solange: Oh yes! She's singing - in a glorious '60s girl group way - about a young man that seems like a nice fella but hey, then why is the music video depicting images much deeper? Maybe it's about a bit more. Maybe a metaphor. This has a sweet love song exterior - and then suddenly, he's "running me, running me down. Telling me, telling me wait." I think things work out in the end though. It's lovely.

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac: "Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom." From that line I am hooked. This song is so smooth it's like Grey Goose. I could get drunk off it. Stevie Nicks mentions a heartbeat and what happens - the drumbeat comes in. Thunder - cymbol crash! I love you, Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham (the muse for this song). Trivia: The b-side was "Songbird", Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' wedding song.

Call on Me - Chicago: It's official, I'm an old lady. Anyone who knows me knows Chicago is in my blood and was the first music I ever heard in my life. This song is not my favorite ("Beginnings" is) but this is a current pick. The horns are glamorous, Jason Scheff's voice is cool as a cucumber, and of course there's the added bonus that this is a sad song mascarading as a love song. You know that if the couple in this song were still together the guy wouldn't be saying, "Call on me!!" He'd be saying, "Get the hell away from me, Man."

How Am I To Be - The Watson Twins: I wouldn't expect to like them but lately I enjoy female singers a bit more and they have gorgeous voices. This song is obviously '70s inspired and it's fantastic. This would've been a huge hit in a different decade or if it was a Fleetwood Mac song but sadly it's stuck on the shelf with other "indie" labeled acts.

Since U Been Gone - Ted Leo (!): This is a fun choice. Mr. Leo covering a Kelly Clarkson song and doing it way better than her and then adding a little Yeah Yeah Yeahs at the end. This is why I like Ted Leo and why I'm super excited for him to come to my house: Starland Ballroom! He's got such a sweet, normal voice and I love when he sings, "They don't love you like I love you. Wait!" Screw, Karen O! See Also: "Me and Mia" that I could listen to day and night.

Gangsta - Bushwalla: This hot, young gentleman/entertainer/magician/comedian is so suave. Another person that needs new representation because there's money to be made here! He is Jason Mraz's best friend and opened for him in NY a few months ago - a born performer. I bet he smokes a lot of pot. This is so fun.

Weird Fishes/Arpeggi - Radiohead: This is the most beautiful song on this list. I want to look into the eyes of a person I love and have the beginning of this song in the background. "I'd be crazy not to follow where you lead. Your eyes, they tempt me." Gorgeous.

And I Love Her - The Beatles: "And if you saw my love, you'd love her too." This is the quintessential love song. I also love how the song title begins with "And" as if every sentence Paul says must end with "and I love her." This is not my favorite Beatles song but if I heard it unexpectedly I would probably cry.

Tell Her No - The Zombies: This gives me a creepy feeling and reminds me of my childhood listening to oldies music on 101.1 WCBS FM. It's definitely sad but more than anything it makes me want to make a mixtape.

She Don't Have to Know - John Legend: Mr. Legend always sneaking around with sexy ladies, wearing disguises, purring his way out of a crime.. it's so tasty. This has been a favorite for several years and it always sounds fresh. See Also: Everything John Legend has ever done including his latest (sell out!) single, "Green Light" with Andre 3000.

Daddy Sang Bass - Johnny Cash: After watching The Johnny Cash Show, this song stood out the most to me. Everyone loves some Cash but this is classic. A little June Carter and even a little Cash Family Singers. See also: "The Mercy Seat" and "I Won't Back Down" - two covers that only get better in Johnny's hands.

Marvin Gaye: Everything he's ever done or touched.

If You Really Love Me - Stevie Wonder: I love this song more and more with every listen, probably the greatest sign of a classic song.

Say It All - Sondre Lerche: He's so fantastic. He's so so fantastic. I've never heard a song of his that I didn't like. I choose this one because I've overplayed everything else and it reminds of a specific time when the album, "Phantom Punch", came out and Sondre was my superhero - saving the day all over the place. See also: "Sleep on Needles", "Stupid Memory", "The Tape", and his cheery "Night and Day" cover.

It's a Shame - The Spinners: This and "I'll Be Around" are songs that I would be at least .5% different without knowing. They are so essential to my surroundings it's like my cat getting stolen to think of losing them.

Dancing Days - Led Zeppelin: This is just the lastest incarnation of my favorite Led Zeppelin song. I played "Houses of the Holy" 15 times the first day I got it on iTunes - but Led Zeppelin songs are like Pringles so I shouldn't be surprised. My crazy "D'yer Mak'er" infatuation is just dying down. Why do people do drugs while listening to them? They are drugs.

Jolene - Dolly Parton: On the way to school on the New Jersey Transit bus I fell in love with song. I randomly put it on my iPod and couldn't get it out of my head all day after the first listen. Why would someone leave Dolly for a girl named Jolene?? But on a serious note, I don't know how this feels but in my head I've pictured this scenario countless times.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Dwight Yoakam: He reminds me of Elvis in a strange way. He has one of those unique, deep, rich voices. He's also super fun and I want to marry him so my name is Angelica Yoakam and I have someone that doesn't laugh at my cowboy boots.

The Taker - Kris Kristofferson: Once again, I've never heard a Kris Kristofferson song I didn't like and he's the one musician I think of when I hear these cats say, "I like everything except country." "Well," I would say, "Have you heard this? Tell me you don't like it." See also: "Jody and the Kid", "Sunday Morning Coming Down", "Loving Her Was Easier", and the songwriting credit on "Me and Bobby McGee" by his ex Janis Joplin.

Tom Petty: Everything. Maybe a top five would go like this: "I Need to Know" (my most listened to track), "Square One", "Don't Do Me Like That", "It'll All Work Out", and "Breakdown"? Maybe "Honey Bee", "The Apartment Song", "Listen to Her Heart", "Free Fallin'", and "Have Love, Will Travel"? Maybe just everything.

Come Rain or Come Shine - Billie Holiday: I don't know what to say. Let it speak for itself.

Strangers - The Kinks: A song that has the power of no other song. It puts you in a movie.

In Your Atmosphere - John Mayer: Read the lyrics.

Dear Mr. Mayer

Dear John Mayer,

I have been a fan of yours for longer than I'd like to remember. Your music has been a contributing factor in many crucial events in my life for practically a decade. I read your blog religiously, quote you without meaning to, and take a lot of slack from my friends about being a member of your Local 83 Union for which I have official tags, VIP passes, and programs. I am downright in love with your music but I'm sorry to say, you do not live up to your words, Mr. Mayer.

I thought you were in on the joke. I thought it was okay for people to mock you because you were kind of mocking yourself. I mean, "Daughters".. "Your Body Is a Wonderland"? Are we supposed to take those seriously? No, I would say. I'm one of those loyal fans that explains patiently to anyone who dares insult you that your singles do not measure up to the entire body of work. I'm one of those fans that silently cheers when they see you mentioned as "musician John Mayer" in an article as opposed to "singer" or "heartthrob". People like me know you're a guitarist first and foremost. You love Stevie Ray Vaughn and B.B. King. The masters, like Eric Clapton and Sting, want you to play with them! But then something awful happened and I think you know what I'm talking about...

You turned into your own joke!

Like any doting fan, I will always stand loyally behind you and buy all of your albums until I am senile (and even then I'll try) but Mr. Mayer I am truly disappointed. Someone in your league should not be tipping off papparazzi or "standing up" for famous ex-girlfriends within earshot of the entire nation. You are the greatest, don't you know that? How are we, your fans, supposed to cover up for your mistakes this time? This is what I'm going to hear..

"You're obsessed with that John Mayer guy, right? He's such an asshole. All he wants is publicity."

or one I already got from a co-worker:

"You want John Mayer to play here? Let's just invite a B-List actress and he'll be right here."

Embarassment, John! I can write until I'm blue in the face about how great your lyrics are in "In Your Atmosphere" or how superb the guitar playing is in "Come Back to Bed" or even play "Covered In Rain" a thousand times over for everyone I know and try to explain how there will never be a better song and still it won't mask your confused mug all over every tabloid this side of Mars. Why can't you be like all the other singer/songwriters out there? Granted, Ryan Adams had a public fling with Mandy Moore and then used OK! Magazine as his journal for a couple weeks probably making her feel horrible, but what about everyone else? Jason Mraz is never prancing around with twenty girls on his arm and making lewd comments about them, Damien Rice even stayed in check when he was dating Winona Ryder. Why can't you get it together?

You are such a smart man, full of wisdom far beyond your years and yet I am only assuming those hooligans you hang around with must've egged you on to this nonsensical behavior. I know you try to be honest and friendly with your fans to the point where some have called you "bizaare" in the press but really: we don't need to know everything. Let the people in our real lives be the ones we hate for being jerks and messing up. I can really be spared Chelsea Handler publicly saying you're "in the same league as Spencer Pratt" and calling you "disgusting" and "bald". Who cares what you look like, Mr. Mayer? I care about your MUSIC. Your music is the best I have ever heard. I bet it would cure diseases, wake people up from comas, stop tropical storms, and make Russia throw out all their nuclear weapons. As a matter of fact, if I were president my first call of duty would be to bring in my entire cabinet and make them listen to "Heavier Things". I have a feeling they'd forget about passing bills and bombing Iraq and simply want to have some chai and play air guitar.


Also, it must be said: pick on someone your own size! Jennifer Aniston may be a tiny lady but she is larger than life with the 20-45 year old female set. US Magazine would rather put your head in a juicer than make her out to be a villan. If you're going to talk publicly about famous people, forget Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jessica Simpson, talk about Tom Petty or something. Tell us why you chose to do a cover of "Free Fallin". Please don't talk about how it's even "more interesting" to you to talk about your love life than your music. You sound like a dirtbag when you say things like that. Yes, joke around during your concerts about The Goonies inspiring your songs but don't tell us that Ms. Aniston was not kinky enough for you. That's trashy, right? (PS. You're better looking and more talented than Brad Pitt, so why would you be obsessed with him as they say?)

To play devil's advocate here, I understand where you're coming from. You want people to know that your relationships are no different from everyone else's. You want us to know that you're not a 'douchebag' like everyone in the world says you are. Possibly you even feel comfortable enough with your fanbase to say things to them as if they were friends. Unfortunately, friends are hard to come by and even if you're someone's guilty pleasure on the radio they'll still trash talk you when they're bored with their friends. On a positive note, I will say that one of the main reasons I love you is because you're different from everyone else, Mr. Mayer. You're just a down to earth guy that wears Batman hoodies with actual felt bat ears on the hood - and that's cool. You're extremely nerdy, just like me. You partake in extremely nerdy activities, just like me, and although you like Paramore and Fall Out Boy, you also like Cream and Miles Davis. So I guess you still have some hope.

John Mayer, I never want to see you play at Starland Ballroom. You are too big for this place and I hope you always are. I never want it to be easy to meet you or see you for $10. That would destroy your place among the adult contemporary stars that you belong with: Billy Joel, Eric Clapton, James Taylor, etc. When I drink, Mr. Mayer, all I seem to talk about is you (well...). I ramble forever about wanting to travel the country to see all of your shows and reminisce about that time you had stomach pains and made the audience wait an hour in Maryland. I have played "Only Heart" on the jukebox of the Ale & Wich so many times they probably cringe when I walk through the door. If I'm tipsy enough I even play double the John Mayer songs. Please don't embarass me! I do it well enough on my own.

So in summation here it is: Lay off the dating for awhile. You have a summer tour going on, concentrate on that. Make Atlantic City's show this Sunday the best ever for one, Miss Angelica Diamond, and watch some Price Is Right with Mint Milano cookies because we all know that's your favorite. And if you have to date, didn't you say you had a crush on Maura Tierney? That's a good one - go for that.

Lots of love and cookies,
Angelica, your quasi-number one fan.



Meant for humorous purposes only - or at least mostly.